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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 



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UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 



GOD'S LIGHT AS IT CAME 
TO ME. 



GOD'S LIGHT 

AS IT CAME TO ME. 




BOSTON: 

ROBERTS BROTHERS. 

1895. 



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Copyright, 1895, 
By Roberts Brothers. 

All rights reserved. 



University Press : 
John Wilson and Son, Cambridge, U.S.A. 



3 £)eUtcate t&ese Pages 

TO ONE WHOSE FIRM WARM HAND-CLASP HAS NEVER 

FAILED ME, WHOSE LIFE AND CHARACTER HAVE 

BEEN MY MORNING AND EVENING STAR 

IN THE PATH WE HAVE WALKED 

TOGETHER. 



INTRODUCTION. 



My hope in sending forth this little 
volume is that its contents may 
possibly lead others to some under- 
standing of the reason and necessity 
of all the suffering and turbulence, 
both physical and mental, that hold 
and overpower humanity to-day, in 
which the simple right and wrong 
of daily living, and the depth of 
selfhood involved are such tests of 
character. Self-interest, which seems 
the one active and pervading prin- 



INTR OD UC TION. 



ciple, cramps and starves the God- 
given nature. Religion has lost its 
vitality and inspirational power, and 
when recognized at all, is too often 
regarded only as a code of respect- 
ability, with a meagre inheritance 
of intellectual and moral influence. 
It would, I think, be rare to find 
a home without a Bible in it, though 
indeed generally used on occasions 
of ceremony only. At other seasons 
it rests in a dusty corner, biding its 
time certainly, but for the present 
dormant; not only holding no in- 
terest for to-day's world, but in the 
minds of many, actively associated 
with weariness and all but despair, 



INTRODUCTION. 9 

its treasures unfathomed and almost 
non-existent. 

The very name God has so lost 
its meaning that only in the great 
crises of life and death does it 
touch this universal apathy. 

The churches, originally intended 
for tabernacles of divine communion 
and worship, with atmosphere so 
glorified in holy sanctity, peace, and 
blessed association that in its breath 
a soul lost its burden in the great 
realization of God, are now simply 
organizations, of value and use 
surely, but so burdened by human 
power, human intellect, human in- 
terest and responsibility, that the 



10 INTRODUCTION. 

divine spark, that which in its pure 
spiritual light awakens and glorifies, 
is submerged and well-nigh unseen 
and unfelt. 

Some teachers there are whose 
high moral standard and intellec- 
tual clearness appeal to the world's 
practical sensibility, not only by 
their words, but more by their pure 
lives of untiring and exemplary 
service ; but the lack of ideal truth, 
whose foundation is love for love's 
sake, whose awakened perceptions 
are grounded upon a faith that only 
grows with the ages, divine and 
pulsating with breath, — this is the 
overwhelming loss which brings this 
condition of starvation. 



INTRODUCTION. 11 

Intellect shoulders the whole 
weight of responsibilitjr. Mankind 
is its own God, and we see the 
result. 

Where is the solution of it all, 
and what the outcome ? I would 
answer that it is in the very condi- 
tion that exists. Mankind only pro- 
gresses and learns through difficult 
and labored experience. Ay, he 
must be pushed and crowded be- 
fore the depth of his nature is 
stirred, before he is so roused by 
suffering that from the very heart 
of his being he sends forth a cry 
that will ring through the ages, 
and to which God only can respond, 



12 INTRODUCTION. 

— a cry in which the intellect only 
serves its proportionate value, and 
man recognizes that in and of him- 
self he is nothing. There is a pro- 
found motive and principle steadily 
working its way to the surface 
through all this human ignorance 
and misery. 

Each individual experiences in 
life that which will sooner or later 
uplift, no matter how direful 
and seemingly unholy the process 
through which he must pass may 
be. This process may be one of 
conscious suffering or of reckless 
and false pleasure. The need and 
circumstance of the individual have 



INTRODUCTION. 13 



developed the existing condition, 
and through it, from stage to stage, 
that soul will climb. 

Ay, always climb ! Climbing by 
way of the process, or — experience. 
When, by depth of spiritual love, 
we can look straight through this 
personal suffering and impurity, 
this blind materiality ; when we 
look with the love which sees and 
feels only the coming light, that 
which will uplift and sustain by its 
own power of tenderness, feeling 
no sacrifice, conscious of no denial, 
— then shall we neither bear nor 
endure, but rejoice in, and even 
welcome, whatever trial may face 



14 INTR OD UC TION. 

us, whatever experience may teach 
and help us onward. 

My life from necessity has led 
me into this spiritual interest, and 
has developed experience which 
I hold to be the natural food of 
all. I cannot keep to myself alone 
what may give light and comfort 
to many. " Then shalt thou call, 
and the Lord shall answer : thou 
shalt cry, and He shall say, Here 
I am." 



GOD'S LIGHT AS IT CAME 
TO ME. 



I. 

Even as a child, I longed to pene- 
trate the mystery I felt about me, 
seeming to realize an unseen world 
beyond the one I knew. I loved 
to be alone, that I might watch and 
listen for the faces and voices of 
the angels that seemed so near. 
At night, on waking from sleep, I 
well remember seeing beautiful 
forms take shape, and slowly vanish 



16 GOB'S LIGHT 

in the darkness. I never seemed 
to wonder about these appearances, 
but lived and breathed as Nature 
moulded me, with a child's unques- 
tioning faith in all I saw. 

In later years, but generally under 
the same conditions, I saw grand 
and beautiful scenery, — mountains, 
valleys, broad rivers spanned by 
bridges whose arches I could count 
with ease, so near they seemed to 
me ; and I often watched a little 
boat, with its white shining sail, 
headed from the river towards the 
ocean beyond. Once I saw a tur- 
bulent sea, the sky overhead stormy 
and lowering, and the evening star 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 17 

in the clear western horizon, bril- 
liant in the yellow light. 

By degrees a symbolic meaning 
to these varied experiences dawned 
upon me, and in this I found great 
help and comfort; for in the 
years that followed, I was burdened 
with ever increasing bodily suf- 
fering. 

From my present standpoint, 
looking back over the way I have 
passed, I see that my path has 
opened and broadened. I have 
learned to gather and accumulate 
the spiritual food which in earlier 
days I did not recognize, and to 
know that in the boundless Love 
2 



18 GOD'S LIGHT 

in which we have our being, slowly, 
it may seem, but surely, our true 
aspirations are eternally fulfilled, 
whether realized by us or not. 

As time passed, with growing 
spiritual understanding there came 
to me a new perception, — an inner 
guidance, — sometimes in words, 
and again in mental illumination, 
stimulating me to fresh endeavor 
and greater confidence. 

This quiet communion between 
the ideal and the human part of 
me grew with my growth ; and 
through it I learned that within 
me were . two distinct natures, — 
the conscious and the uncon- 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 19 

scious, — the one the personal, the 
other the individual ; the first the 
intellectual, the second the spirit- 
ual; one hampered and trammelled 
by habit and opinion, the other 
free as its Principle, — seeing, hear- 
ing, knowing, being, all in God. I 
learned, too, that as we turn and 
face our divine majesty within, 
the conscious personal intellectual 
self is merged into the unconscious 
individual spiritual self, that which 
infinitely and irresistibly expresses 
its own divine nature. 

Once in early morning, when very 
ill, I was lying on a couch, thinking 
of my condition and of its possible 



20 GOD'S LIGHT 



consequences, when suddenly I saw 
myself as a spirit in space, with face 
slightly raised, arms extended, and 
eyes seeing far above and beyond 
the reach of any earthly ken. 
They were full of holiness, peace, 
and perfect rest. The form and 
proportions of the figure were grand 
and free. On one side, in an atti- 
tude of despair and abandonment, 
was my human self, lying lifeless 
and desolate, every fibre of the body 
having yielded. These two forms, 
the one the true ideal of the other, 
were entirely separate and dis- 
tinct. 

I had no conception of the sym- 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 21 

bolic meaning of this vision until 
a day or two after, when the same 
vision was again presented to me, 
and with it came a clear under- 
standing. 

I then knew that only in recog- 
nition of, and communion with our 
spiritual nature, can we penetrate 
and draw from its mighty force, 
which holds itself in calm and silent 
reserve until with our whole heart 
we call. 

In this knowledge was great ex- 
hilaration, for it seemed to solve a 
life problem, but only to be fol- 
lowed by a wave of deep depres- 
sion ; and in its depths I realized the 



22 GOD'S LIGHT 



work of attainment before me, the 
process of development, slow, ear- 
nest, and difficult ; and with a great 
solemn wonder came a steadfast 
purpose to rise to the light, how- 
ever dark the way. 

At one time I experimented in 
thought-transference, by mentally 
conversing with a friend at a dis- 
tance, after mutually agreeing as 
to time and condition ; and here a 
few words in explanation of the 
subject may be helpful. The chief 
factor in the process is concentra- 
tion, or the act of holding the 
brain activities to one purpose and 
object, — focussing the mental force, 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 



which to an inexperienced person 
is well-nigh impossible, so generally 
undeveloped is the power. 

If, however, love is the motive 
force, you will find that your at- 
tention is automatically challenged 
and held, as it would be in an inter- 
esting conversation, and that you 
are concentrating without conscious 
effort. When you convey thought 
to the intellect of another by words 
silently spoken, the result depends 
upon your own clear understanding 
and conviction, and the receptivity 
of the listener. If however you 
have reached the plane of spiritual 
realization, in which you know only 



24 



GOD'S LIGHT 



the purity of that other soul, then, 
with a sense of relaxation, a divine 
atmosphere pervades your whole 
being, in which there is no room 
for words, or need of face or form. 
God speaks! and Nature rests in 
loving silence. 

To return to my narrative, the 
process in thought was to be the 
same as that we should naturally 
follow in visiting one another. Ad- 
hering to all preliminary detail, we 
were to note surrounding objects, 
using eyes and ears as usual, thus 
developing faculties that might 
otherwise remain dormant. 

When reaching my friend's pres- 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 25 

ence, I called her by name, and 
looked into her eyes with concen- 
trated attention. Suddenly I felt 
she was speaking, though no sound 
reached my human ear. I asked if 
she heard me. She answered, " Yes, 
I hear you with my unconscious 
mind only ; the separation between 
the conscious and unconscious mind 
is so great that one is scarcely 
aware of the other, each to the 
other seems dreamy and unreal." 
I said, " In your conscious existence 
you are very suffering." She smiled, 
and did not seem much interested, 
saying that the conscious mind 
was just turning to the unconscious, 
and knew but little about it 



26 GOD'S LIGHT 



In answer to my question as to 
the help she from the unconscious 
plane might give her conscious or 
human condition, she replied that 
" the help must come from the clear 
understanding of the unconscious 
or spiritual mind, — knowing that as 
the real mind : that there must be 
free communion between the two, 
the lower or conscious nature hold- 
ing the higher in concentrated 
thought, until by degrees one 
would awaken to the realization of 
the other." 

I was startled and agitated at 
the conclusion of the above experi- 
ence, feeling T had touched an un- 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 27 

known realm ; but later I under- 
stood that I was dealing with fact, 
not fancy. I now realize that the 
human intellect, in its blind struggle 
to fathom and manipulate all before 
it, is the only obstacle in the way 
of God's love, which floods our 
whole being, stirring the soul to 
its very foundations. 

When appealing for much needed 
physical strength, the response 
came : " Call upon me often, for 
it enables me to take greater pos- 
session." " But," I asked, " why is 
not my call upon God for help 
sufficient? " 

" It is ; but it must be through the 



28 GOB'S LIGHT 



development of your own divine 
individuality, that which is the re- 
flection of God, that your prayer 
will be answered. The greater the 
recognition of this truth, the more 
sublime will be the knowledge of 
your own higher nature, and its 
power to govern and control all 
beneath it. The very force of the 
ever present overflow of God's love 
gives you a persistent and almost 
painful longing to express yourself 
in effort ; because you do not un- 
derstand that you work best for 
God in unconscious effort, and that 
when you are filled with His love, 
you give forth an atmosphere of 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 29 

peace, which fulfils its own mis- 
sion." 

I said, mentally, one day, " How 
I wish I could hold my higher self 
and never let it go ! " The answer 
clearly came : " You cannot hold 
me, but you can rise to me. I am 
ever present, being the truer part 
of you, — your spiritual nature." 

" Why then," I asked, " do you 
not overwhelm the lower part of me, 
making me conscious of you alone ? " 
" Because you do not recognize me 
sufficiently. There must be mutual 
recognition and communion, each 
must be dependent upon the other, 
and so you will evolve." 



30 GOD'S LIGHT 

One summer when in the coun- 
try, I was in great distress, owing 
to more physical suffering than I 
could well bear; and this was at- 
tended by an intense desire to reach 
the woods close by, feeling that 
there in some way I should find 
help and strength. 

Taking a camp-stool, on which I 
could frequently rest, I made the 
difficult journey, and sitting amid 
the ferns a sense of freedom and 
companionship stole over me, im- 
pelling me to pour out all my suf- 
fering story aloud ; and the birds 
and trees gave me their loving 
attention. 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 31 

Gradually I grew calm, feeling 
that I was burdening no one with 
the load I was carrying on that 
beautiful Sunday morning. 

I talked and reasoned, taking 
both sides of the argument, when 
suddenly my answers startled me, 
and I listened as it were to a higher 
intelligence, giving me strong and 
vigorous advice. 

The influence of that communion 
with my higher self was so potent 
that something within my heart 
was lifted and dropped from me, 
and ever since my steps have been 
firmer, and my heart steadier. 

The following is a portion of 
what came to me : — 



32 GOD'S LIGHT 



" Know that by degrees each soul 
will recognize, through spiritual de- 
velopment, that its human failings, 
mental and physical, are wrongly 
understood and accepted, — handled 
and controlled by the intellect in- 
stead of the spirit, — and in conse- 
quence that soul is cramped by limi- 
tations, its true powers are unrecog- 
nized and therefore latent. When 
it appeals to God for help, seem- 
ingly with no result, it shall know, 
with ever increasing tenderness and 
joy, that only by the communion 
of a little child with its mother, so 
confident because so loving and 
free, can it receive. In this love 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 33 

there is no necessity for question 
or appeal ; the soul rests and watches 
with greater and greater wonder 
and light the expression of God. 

" Be merciful in your judg- 
ment of yourself as well as the 
world. Your own standard is for 
both ; and when you only feel the 
mystery of God and your infinite 
separation from Him making you 
hungry and often patiently hope- 
less, know that every experience 
however painful is in truth a 
bright light in your path, lifting 
and clearing the mists that in the 
darkness seem so dense and heavy." 

Suddenly a bird sang, from a 



34 GOD'S LIGHT 



branch above me, a melody so sweet, 
pure, and unconscious, that I was 
startled by its free expression of 
Deity, so near and yet so unthought 
of; and I realized how seldom we 
penetrate the hidden meaning of 
our surroundings. We only see and 
hear with the external eyes and 
ears, and the result is uncertain and 
obscure, holding little true under- 
standing or living companionship. 
After this last experience, I with- 
drew by myself each day, silently 
listening, with an ever increasing 
sense of dependence, to this inner 
voice, which always responded to 
my earnest call. 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 35 

No words reached my mortal ear, 
but the voice spoke, and within my 
own being I heard in intensest 
silence ; and so I will give these 
messages in their order, explaining 
where I realize the necessity. 

" Look neither backward nor for- 
ward ; both the past and the future 
are in God's keeping. Live in the 
present. 

" Never force conditions, but when 
circumstances seem to arrange them- 
selves for action, take advantage of 
them, and go forward, in spite of 
what may appear hard. You will 
surely find that the way will be- 
come smooth, that each step is neces- 



36 GOD'S LIGHT 



sary, and intended for you, and by 
and by you will understand that 
the experience, however difficult, 
was for your best good. 

"If by force of circumstance you 
are spiritually uplifted and helped 
while passing through some great 
difficulty in your life, not having 
attained the strength and poise to 
meet it through normal growth, the 
next valley of trial will be exactly 
as laborious and hard to pass as the 
first; you having been stimulated 
in the former experience by out- 
side conditions. Your character will 
be no more developed by it, your 
real knowledge no greater, and 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 37 

you will have no clearer compre- 
hension of the great truths. 

"See, hear, think only what is true, 
pure, and lovely, and so you will 
have an understanding of Deity, 
and grow powerfully in spirit. On 
the other hand, when you worry 
over the petty detail of life, the 
wrong conditions of yourself and 
others, you close the channel to 
the inflow of spirit (or to your con- 
sciousness of it), and discord pre- 
vails. 

" Remember that every experi- 
ence, however deep, answers to a 
need, and that somewhere in your 
structure is a flaw, which becomes 



\ 

38 GOD'S LIGHT 



more perceptible in the growing per- 
fection of its surroundings. Until 
that weak spot is recognized, under- 
stood, and made strong and beauti- 
ful, leaving no trace behind, its per- 
sistent demand will continue to 
bring you repeated trial." 

" The future conception of happi- 
ness will be far different from the 
present one. Then we shall know 
that intensest happiness is the out- 
come of deep experience, which is 
rich with fulfilment, firm faith, 
and clear illumination. Peace then 
will be a profound calm, undis- 
turbed, because faithfully earned; 
free and awakened, in its simple 
purity and mighty strength. 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 39 

"Drop all unrest and anxiety in 
every direction, and unceasingly 
hold the ideal self in thought, there- 
by becoming conscious of Deity 
throughout your whole being, thus 
creating peace and harmony in 
yourself and your atmosphere. 

" Count that as a minute lost 
which is given to external disorder. 
You are of God-substance. Kest 
in that thought, for it is a perfect 
thought. 

" Know your God through your- 
self. Know that your very exist- 
ence is due to God's creative 
thought, and that you shine and 
express only as a reflection of the 



40 GOD'S LIGHT 



One Central Sun. It is the whole 
of you ; and no matter how dense 
and unhappy your mental condi- 
tion may be, the power which un- 
derlies it is of the same nature as 
its Source, — its rays obscured, but 
still shining with all their original 
purity, steadily burning through 
and dissipating the intervening mists. 
When you know yourself as a be- 
ing born of Light (for God in His 
Perfection can only express the 
same), you will radiate sunshine, 
power, and peace. 

" Education means work, investi- 
gation, and all which that entails. 
It means development of character, 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 41 

and in no other way can the object 
be attained. Growth comes through 
difficulties, by patience and hard 
labor ; but you must recognize each 
experience as an opportunity, and 
so learn its lesson. Even failure is 
progression. Consciously or uncon- 
sciously, whether perceived by you 
or not, there is always added light. 
Without recognition, nothing exists ; 
and by degrees you can become 
blind to, and even unconscious of 
all physical and mental discomfort 
and distress, by the simple realiza- 
tion of your spiritual nature, which 
shines forth from the very bosom 
of God, and so is invariable perfec- 



42 GOD'S LIGHT 

tion. The principle underlying the 
ignorant or unawakened part of your 
nature — that which the world calls 
low or evil — is God's, but misunder- 
stood by you, and so misdirected. 
Endeavor to quiet all this external 
expression, and give freedom to 
the Divinity within you. You are 
God's thought! God's thought is 
perfect ! and in your great love for 
Him, shelter and protect the powers 
with which He has endowed you, 
that the world may be glorified by 
them. 

"Make the lower condition pas- 
sive, that it may learn to express 
the divinity of your thoughts, your 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 43 

knowledge. Know all that is, and 
thou wilt know thyself. 

" When mental and physical trials 
assail you, have no fear, simply 
know them for what they are, and 
act accordingly, using your best 
sense and judgment. Give them 
no undue consideration or value, 
and so they will assume their just 
proportions in the balance of life. 
The greater the inner knowledge, 
the greater the outer, and at last 
the two shall become one." 

After facing a great sorrow, in 
which I had been sufficiently strong 
to have been of use to others, with- 
out apparent strain to myself, I 



44 GOD'S LIGHT 

returned to my usual life, only to 
discover that I was exhausted and 
spiritless. This was a problem 
which I asked to have solved ; and 
the following answer came to me: 
" Circumstances mentally lifted and 
exhilarated you in the trial through 
which you have just passed. If 
you had loyally earned that eleva- 
tion through your own individual 
growth, there would be no reaction, 
and you would not again be subser- 
vient to physical law. Take advan- 
tage of this time of quiet, resting 
peacefully in the Everlasting Arms. 
When through experience you have 
attained normal poise, so that in 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 45 

all the testing-places of life you 
can bear yourself calmly and uncon- 
sciously, then there will be no in- 
terruption to the quiet calm and 
unconscious freedom of your soul's 
bearing. 



46 GOD'S LIGHT 



II. 

"The knowledge that every atom 
of being is governed by unalterable 
law shows the uselessness of doubts 
and anxieties. Remember that 
when you recognize your true 
powers, you will realize your natu- 
ral control over physical conditions ; 
so send forth the command from 
the height of your spiritual nature, 
through the whole realm of your 
being, and the result will depend 
upon the depth of your conviction. 
Learn to handle and control the 
ignorant part of your being as you 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 47 

would watch and guide a child ; 
otherwise in the free expression of 
the lower nature, the higher is 
clogged, and the result is disorder 
and confusion. Hold thought and 
expression to your highest ideal. 
Learn from your failures. It is 
your duty to recognize and hold 
the higher consciousness in your- 
self, as well as in others ; and when 
the lower consciousness makes its 
demand, respond from the higher, 
saying, < If I choose ; not other- 
wise.' Do not argue the question ; 
simply let the highest be your only 
knowledge. 

"If you suffer physically in spite 



48 GOD'S LIGHT 

of your best efforts to gain relief, 
then know that wherever in char- 
acter the balance is lacking, the 
expression of that condition will 
be on your weakest plane, whether 
mental or physical. Up that hill 
of difficulty must you climb ; amid 
the obstacles in that path must 
you find your way, until you reach 
your own inner temple, in which 
God reigns. You stand exactly ac- 
cording to your need, and so the 
futility and waste of all regret. 

" You may have wandered into 
paths of suffering and trouble from 
which you were warned, and their 
pitfalls explained; but you only 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 49 

saw and heard with your external 
eyes and ears, and your desire to 
enter those paths was far the 
stronger force. The truth did not 
really possess you; therefore the 
dark way was to you a necessity, — 
a process exactly suited to further 
your development, — the course into 
which your previous life guided you. 
By deep experience the resources 
of your nature are awakened, and 
through the aisles of that vast inner 
cathedral you walk, every step 
taken with the calm unconscious 
dignity of spiritual feeling, which 
is far beyond knowledge. Feeling 
God includes knowing Him; it is 



50 GOD'S LIGHT 

being Him. Be quiet, that you may 
listen. In the quiet of the night 
God speaks. 

"The moment you recognize in 
any degree your spiritual freedom, 
that moment you touch and feel 
your real self; and this knowledge 
comes through the travail of the 
spirit, in bursting through and 
overcoming its material bonds. 
Then follows the stupendous reali- 
zation of God's power and of life's 
values. Work on ; trusting, know- 
ing, abiding b}' what you know, and 
so the mists will clear, and the light 
become perfect in its purity ; there- 
fore the labor, the question, the 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 51 

endeavor. Assert your individu- 
ality, with the calmness of absolute 
conviction, and then there will be 
order, and life in its wonder ; clear, 
full of freshness and sparkle, com- 
plete in its fulfilment. 

" God knows of your need, and 
listens for the cr}^ to come from 
your soul, which will draw forth 
his response. ' Whatsoever ye ask 
shall be given you ' is true ; but re- 
member also the text runs : ' What- 
soever ye ask, believing, shall be 
given you/ Oh, child, it is strange 
that you must suffer and suffer be- 
fore the depths are stirred ; and in 
them God is found. Then you rise 



52 GOD'S LIGHT 

in His might, sending forth that 
cry of triumph, ' death, where 
is thy sting, grave, where is thy 
victory ? ' and you realize God's 
truth, that ' day unto day uttereth 
speech, and night unto night show- 
eth knowledge/ 

" Receive in patience, and know 
that health will come through growth 
and development. Health means 
greater activity on every plane, 
and, to be permanently assured, 
must be roundly balanced. Growth 
must be symmetrical, neither mate- 
rial, intellectual, nor spiritual alone, 
but all combined; each as great a 
necessity as the other, all equally 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 53 

dependent one upon the other. 
Look back upon your life, and 
realize what would have been the 
result of perfect health, as to your 
soul development. The process of 
growth has been long and tedious, 
yet also blessed : for through your 
sensitive organization, which opened 
you to every grade and qual- 
ity of influence (whether physical, 
mental, or spiritual), has come to 
you steady and persistent experi- 
ence ; helping you to discover in 
yourself your reserved force, your 
staying power, your God qualities, 
until some comprehension of the 
divine majesty of your own indi- 



54 GOD'S LIGHT 

viduality has touched you. Gently 
and lovingly, in no spirit of criti- 
cism, be watchful of the weak points 
in your character, and so remodel 
yourself: not being satisfied simply 
with daily work dutifully done. 

a By conscious communion with 
God-Spirit, even physical warmth 
may come. Think what that means ! 
When you demand, there must be 
response, which only awaits your 
recognition to make itself felt ; and 
what is that response ? It is warmth, 
— in other words, Life in its Essence, 
perfect, unlimited, to eternity. 

" Take all helps belonging to the 
plane on which you stand. God has 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 55 

placed them there for you. Do not 
try to live upon a higher plane than 
you have normally reached, there- 
by creating for yourself the agita- 
tion and unrest which prevent you 
from listening to the inner voice. 
Do not try to control a kingdom 
over which you do not reign. Only 
when the waters are calm, can they 
reflect clearly ; where there is effort 
there is always strain. Normal 
growth is as unconscious as the 
song of a bird, spontaneous and 
free, replete with life and activity, 
— it is resistless giving forth. 

"Spiritual realization is spiritual 
growth, expressed sooner or later 



56 



GOB'S LIGHT 



in harmony of condition and en- 
vironment. When life becomes 
seemingly richer, fuller, more har- 
monious in relation and circum- 
stance, both mental and physical, 
then know that condition means 
greater realization, — that you have 
grown in spiritual understanding, 
your spiritual advancement is ac- 
cording to the depth and earnest- 
ness of your need ; so work steadily 
on, not looking for results, knowing 
that every step accomplished bears 
its own result. If an unusual reali- 
zation is experienced, no matter for 
how short a time, know that there 
has been some degree of gain which 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 57 

will lead to greater in the future ; 
just as it is when in walking over 
the country you suddenly come 
upon a lovely vista, and know that 
farther on a still grander one 
awaits you, then you are content to 
trudge on, comforted and gladdened 
by the memory and influence of the 
bit already seen. 

" Search for the Infinite in the In- 
finite Soul, and the problems of life 
will disappear. If you have not 
that faith ' which casteth out fear/ 
you have not grown to it, that is 
all; but in the pathway towards 
the ' peace that passeth under- 
standing/ remember that God is 



58 GOD'S LIGHT 



Infinite Love, that with Him is 
' no variableness, neither shadow of 
turning.' 

" Whatever experience gravitates 
towards you, receive it lovingly, 
consider it as an opportunity, even 
when it may seem to you hard and 
repellent. Do all with the power 
of God within you, and you will 
succeed. Be alert, and vibrate with 
the knowledge that needs expres- 
sion. Trust your own power and 
ability, make yourself conscious of 
them, and that very consciousness 
will bring to the surface what is 
desired. 

"You are encompassed by vast 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 59 

horizons, — unlimited heights and 
depths, awaiting recognition. In 
time the scales will drop from your 
eyes, and you shall know that what 
now seems so hard and insupport- 
able is Love in its entirety. Truth 
is stranger than fiction, and all is 
Infinite Love/' 

In great weariness of body, I 
asked one day, " Why am I tired ? " 
" Because the soul longs for free- 
dom, while the mind, w T ith its old 
habit, thinks and works on the 
physical plane, and so comes the 
suffering." 

"What is to be done, then?" 
"Attune the mental to the spiritual, 



60 GOD'S LIGHT 

until the latter permeates the whole. 
There is conflict between the grow- 
ing soul which is trying to express 
itself, and the old mental under- 
standing." 

" Why does not the greater power 
overcome the lesser ? " " Because 
the recognition must be mutual, 
reciprocal. It is the effort of the 
soul that brings the struggle." 

"What will accomplish the work?" 
" Time, experience, constant and 
ever-increasing steadiness of purpose 
toward the Light." 

" How can I overcome this rec- 
ognition of pain ? " " Hold every 
thought up to be bathed in the 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 61 

Divine atmosphere, making your- 
self free and relaxed, porous as it 
were, that God's Love may freely 
penetrate. Be still, that ye may 
listen ! In the silence of the night 
God speaks. 

" Normal growth means natural 
growth, — that which is not forced 
by condition or circumstance. It 
accepts the inevitable, and meets 
all experience from the loftiest 
ideal of love and trust. Normal 
growth or development is round 
and perfect in its process, and 
from its inherent nature continu- 
ously manifests itself in larger and 
ever more beautiful expression in 



62 GOD'S LIGHT 



practical daily life ; and although ex- 
perience may be full of suffering and 
weariness, yet these trials, with all 
their attending conditions, are bright 
and clear avenues, each one per- 
fectly adapted to individual need.' , 

In response to a prayer for light, 
wisdom, and larger knowledge, this 
thought was given to me : " Work 
steadily in patience, reaching out 
always to your highest conception, 
knowing that in His time, not in 
yours, you will be answered. 

"God in His infinite mercy is law ! 
God is order ; it is for yon to be- 
come conscious of it. You still have 
much trial to go through, but better 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 63 

health will come soon, and you will 
realize in time that all your past 
life has been under God's tender 
protection. In other words, you 
will be cornered, cramped, and ab- 
solutely driven for relief, into the 
depths of your own nature, thereby 
discovering resources of which you 
do not dream. You will know that 
what you have always considered 
the greatest obstacle in your life 
is the very necessity which is forc- 
ing your development, — the lamp 
which unwaveringly illumines the 
path over which you individually 
must pass, to know more and more 
of God. Learn that all your gifts 



64 GOD'S LIGHT 



and perceptions are not your own, 
but are God-given, and that you in 
your divine nature are like the 
everlasting hills, — God's heavenly 
storehouses, filled with treasure un- 
touched and unthought of, — which 
calmly bide their time, holding in 
reserve their deep forces and great 
activities, but always expressing 
beauty, grandeur, and strength. 

" When communing with others, 
realize it is with their highest, or 
ideal self. Draw from the soul life 
the pure essence of being; as a 
bee draws honey from the soul of 
a flower and leaves the rest un- 
touched. 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 65 

"The world's standard is not God's; 
and if your own inner consciousness 
is true and pure, why, that surely 
is sufficient, and as His soldier 
you can march, erect and strong, 
through every difficulty, knowing 
that you will finally reach a growth 
and understanding beyond all that 
is earthly. 



66 GOD'S LIGHT 



in. 

" It is your own consciousness or 
conception of your poor suffering 
body that holds you in bondage, or 
at least helps largely to do so. Re- 
member that all real accomplish- 
ment is difficult ; but take this 
stand : 'I as a spiritual being am 
well. My instrument (or body) 
does not always agree with me, 
but it will attune itself to my true 
knowledge, and I will endeavor to 
keep my position without flaw, stand- 
ing firmly on this basis of truth. 
I will be true to my higher self.' 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 67 

You can hold yourself pliantly sway- 
ing with the breeze that blows past 
you, but always rebounding to the 
true poise, and thereby gain in 
growth and fibre, steadily drinking 
in the soul life, until it permeates 
every atom, and you give as you 
receive, — unconsciously and freely. 
Learn a lesson from the tree, which 
stands erect and grand, — its great 
outstretched arms giving shelter and 
protection to all who seek it, bear- 
ing the close embrace of whatever 
parasite unconsciously and freely, 
only becoming more and more beau- 
tiful in its perfect poise and loving 
generosity. 



68 GOD'S LIGHT 



" When spiritual experiences come, 
give them their true value as holy 
and sacred accessories, illuminating 
the path, broadening and expand- 
ing the horizon, but not taking the 
place of individual accomplishment, 
adding step by step to some con- 
ception of Deity, of the Infinite, 
above and beyond all expression. 
Hold these experiences in silence 
and so in perfect purity, and their 
fruits will be, if unconsciously, none 
the less surely given, in greater 
light and divine realization. Let 
there be no discouragement, but a 
steady, earnest, persistent determi- 
nation to work with loving regu- 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 69 

larity, not considering results, know- 
ing that all true development is 
according to law. Let spiritual at- 
tainment be your first object, above 
all else, and finally life's problems 
will disappear." 

At the approach of spring, no 
matter how ill or suffering I may 
have been, a joyous perception of 
fresh life seemed to pervade my 
being ; and although often unable 
to leave my room in the city, the 
consciousness of Nature's quickening 
close by, breathing from her deep 
lungs God's accumulated purity, 
after the still dignity of her long 
winter's slumber, filled my very 
soul. During one of these seasons 



70 GOD'S LIGHT 

the following thoughts came to 
me : — 

" In spite of the sorrow, there is 
a note, the tone of which is coming 
nearer and ever nearer, heralding the 
approach of Spring, and throughout 
all Nature there is a quickening and 
awakening of the life which has 
lain so long at rest, awaiting the 
appointed hour. The world little 
realizes this wonderful lesson, — 
how the quiet seasons of possible 
monotony and stagnation are peri- 
ods of rest, rich with fulfilment and 
unexpressed life, power, and energy 
accumulated from past experience. 
When you have become attuned 
to this universal Nature, and sensi- 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 71 

tive to the vivifying process, you 
hear and feel this heavenly bugle- 
note borne through the atmosphere, 
filling all Nature with its melody. 
Be independent of your surround- 
ings ; then change and external 
stimulus are insignificant and un- 
necessary. The distance between 
the inner and the outer light is 
more vast than that between the 
stars and the earth ; and the more 
you are pushed into that inner 
development, the more blessed. 
Life is burdened by shadows, which 
will disappear as greater spiritual 
glory is gained. If light seems to 
come slowly, rejoice that it is so, 



72 GOD'S LIGHT 



and that you have the power to 
remove the stumbling-blocks that 
lie in your path, through the wis- 
dom gained by past experience. 
Tread lovingly and tenderly in your 
own divine light, and so illumine 
and radiate. You have asked for 
greater understanding of the truth, 
and it shall be given you, as you 
earn the blessing. Have no fear; 
simply trust God, and rest. No 
matter what abnormal physical or 
mental conditions face you, do not 
give them undue attention. Turn 
from that which is not of God, for 
He is the only reality." 

I said : " If through suffering one 






AS IT CAME TO ME. 73 

is unable to rise to a spiritual ideal, 
and yet realizes the power within, 
awaiting recognition, which is able 
to overcome all beneath it, what 
then ? " The answer came : " Con- 
stantly pray and commune, know- 
ing that strength will come, in the 
Divine order. Say from the depths 
of your being, ' I will wait God's 
time/ There is a vast difference 
between doing and being. We may 
consciously express in action what 
we have not yet attained and 
made our own ; but our i^zconscious 
actions are according to our true 
attainment." 

I asked : " Why is my spiritual 



74 GOD'S LIGHT 

growth so slow ? " The reply was : 
" In God's great system there are 
no such terms as 'fast' and k 'slow.' 
Growth is a process of evolution, 
dependent upon past and present 
experience ; and the present is the 
result of the past. Your past has 
given you clear spiritual perception, 
and at the same time strong mate- 
rial chains ; but through your per- 
ception will you loosen the bonds." 
I said : " What is this depression 
which hangs over me ? " I w T as an- 
swered : " It is a condition w r hich 
you must struggle against, — a re- 
sult of increased sensitiveness, and 
lack of poise. The effect of spirit- 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 75 

ual progress or development is an 
increase of finer perception, greater 
delicacy of feeling, and sensitive- 
ness to all atmosphere, whether 
material or mental; and until the in- 
dividuality in its own purity and 
strength is sufficiently self-sustained 
to resist all outside influence, the 
capacity both for joy and sorrow is 
infinitely increased. Do not allow 
the physical condition to overpower 
you. Be more relaxed, less positive. 
True, your suffering is very aggres- 
sive, but receive it more gently, 
with less resistance, and its power 
will diminish. Let the waves wash 
over you without fear, taking the 



76 GOD'S LIGHT 



wetting together with the sunlight 
and sparkle, knowing that in the 
experience you absorb from the 
vast ocean of rhythmical force, 
God's unchangeable Being. If yon 
learn through difficulty, it is for you 
a necessity ; your path, with all its 
condition and circumstance, its sce- 
nery and atmosphere, is perfectly 
adapted to your especial need, your 
perfect and therefore rounded de- 
velopment. Do you not see that 
in this true understanding the whole 
being yields and relaxes ; that with 
less resistance there is less to com- 
bat; and that so the waves will 
glide over you, leaving little im- 
pression ? " 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 77 

I said : " It is hard not to have 
fear, with a suffering history in the 
background ; " and the voice an- 
swered : " The loss of fear through 
entire trust in God is the perfect 
circle underlying the whole. All 
are striving to reach that freedom, 
and the mists of doubt and igno- 
rance will disappear as you pene- 
trate and surmount the difficulties 
before you. All atmosphere both 
mental and physical, whether sultry 
and damp, blustering and tempes- 
tuous, or clear, crisp, and sunlit, is 
replete with life, power, and force. 
You can draw help and strength 
from the enfeebled personality, the 



78 GOD'S LIGHT 



tired animal, or the locomotive. God 
is in all. Kiss as it were in love 
and sympathy this Divine essence, 
and awaken to its vital breath. 
Open wide your windows in all 
directions to the One and Universal 
Mind, and so annihilate the sense 
of limitation. Hold in silence the 
spiritual awakening, expressing un- 
consciously and therefore power- 
fully. There is nothing so vast or 
full of wonder as a true conception 
of Nature (which is the pure and 
simple expression of God, uncon- 
scious and free); it is an under- 
standing of force, energy, and 
fulfilment, produced by the per- 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 79 

fectly rounded process of law, sub- 
lime in its direct simplicity. As this 
is recognized and understood, some 
perception of the future dawns 
upon the soul, and it gradually 
develops into the same grandeur 
and freedom." 

There are times when the inner 
voice seems silent ; and during one 
of these periods I asked why my 
usual help was withheld. The an- 
swer was : " When the inner voice 
is silent, and you are seemingly 
alone and unaided, hold fast to your 
vigorous faith and unwavering con- 
viction in the Eternal Presence. 
Open your whole heart to His in- 



80 GOD'S LIGHT 



finite love and wisdom. Be as the 
little bird, which receives in its 
mouth the food placed there by its 
parent. In all perplexity turn to 
God with the calmness of an assured 
faith, knowing that this is your 
only responsibility, and that so your 
powers are not wasted, but re- 
served, to be sent forth later with 
renewed vital force. Do right, ac- 
cording to the inner light, and 
recognize that this grand human 
instrument is not yours, but God's. 
Each individual must tread his own 
path, which is filled with experience 
perfectly adapted to promote his 
development; and the light which 






AS IT CAME TO ME. 81 

gradually illuminates, shines when 
he is ready for it, and not one in- 
stant before. Remember, the force 
and energy which reap results sim- 
ply indicate the arrival at an ap- 
pointed stage in your journey of 
progress. Rest, in the clear under- 
standing that waiting does not ne- 
cessarily mean patient inactivity 
nor useless effort, but strong, power- 
ful repose, alive with activity and 
confident knowledge. Ah, the mys- 
tery and wonder of Deity which 
encircles us ! so vast that our eyes 
must necessarily be opened to it 
most tenderly ! " 

It is often hard to bear with 
6 



82 GOD'S LIGHT 



patience the peculiarities of another 
personality, to avoid being worn 
and dragged down by them ; and 
at times the very heart seems sick- 
ened, in the effort to meet lovingly 
what for the moment appears quite 
overwhelming. While I was pon- 
dering this matter, the voice said 
to me : — 

" You are sent forth from the 
Infinite love nature like a flutter- 
ing bird from its nest, and through 
trial (or, in other words, revelation) 
you learn of Him ; therefore every 
difficult experience is to be greeted 
with the vigor and life of under- 
standing and energy. The soul- 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 



life speaks only of the one Eternal 
Life. When you come in contact 
with a potent personality, whether 
harmonious or not, recognize in it 
only the power of that soul-life (per- 
ceived but not grasped by its owner), 
and so realize the grandeur and 
wonder of a soul whose rays shine 
forth even through material mists. 
Draw from the Universal Spirit, — 
the God in all, — and not from 
the personality of others, which is 
charged with condition and emo- 
tion. Let your spiritual flame burn 
steadily, in spite of draught and 
atmosphere. Look upon all indi- 
vidual peculiarity with unbounded 



84 GOD'S LIGHT 



respect and consideration, knowing 
that in God's system there are no 
mistakes, but everywhere a divine 
unity of purpose, and that all the 
seeming perplexities, and restless, 
dissatisfied conditions belong to the 
childhood of humanity. 

" When you have learned to draw 
your strength from God, you will 
say in the face of every difficulty, 
' God is here ! He will carry me 
over ; ' and then let go, and rest. 
Hold to your absolute faith, and 
know that no amount of tension can 
break the real you. Step by step, 
you will conquer. Recognize all 
depression and unrest as being ab- 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 85 

solutely apart from God. God is 
infinite joy, and joy is the essence 
of life, beauty, and harmony. Be 
joyous through love of Him ; do all, 
express all, through love of Him 
who enwraps and enfolds the uni- 
verse in His almighty arms. See 
for His sake, hear for His sake, and 
rejoice uninterruptedly ; for remem- 
ber that every step, whether rough 
or smooth, leads nearer and ever 
nearer to God. 

" In the many problems of life, 
do you realize how filled you are 
with anxious forebodings? When 
suffering overpowers all other 
thought, notice how you strive 



86 GOD'S LIGHT 



incessantly to penetrate the future, 
receiving with heartfelt gratitude 
any information or help concerning 
it from whatever source it may 
come. Is not this a proof of the 
coldness of your attitude towards 
God ? Only in simple dependence 
upon Him can you receive His help 
in its full power and purity. When 
you do your very best under all 
circumstances, without a single anx- 
iety or question, God will reveal 
Himself to you. Breathe the free 
atmosphere above ; steadily look 
toward the horizon, seeing broadly 
all before you. Rest in the great 
principles, God's eternal truths ; and 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 87 

if at times your eyes droop down- 
ward, notice how quickly all the 
detail of experience fades away, — 
as in Nature the blue haze gathers, 
and obscures the landscape, spread- 
ing tenderness and beauty every- 
where. Lift your whole being, and 
rest your eyes on the heights, — 
the peaks of creation ; but remem- 
ber that although they are in the 
light, they would be nothing with- 
out their foundations, and that their 
beauty is in shadow as well as light. 
" When you realize the majesty 
of God's presence within, you grow 
erect and poised, and become a 
force so potent that you not only 



88 GOD'S LIGHT 



sustain and hold yourself, but also 
give forth freely to others. Do as 
if God had asked it of you, with 
such love for Him that there is no 
doing. Indifference to external sur- 
roundings is not a sign of spiritual 
attainment, but is often present in 
the evolutionary process toward 
that attainment. God — Spirit — 
absolutely fulfils, not only in one 
direction, but in all. 

" Your mistaken interpretation 
of the evolutionary knowledge of 
yourself, makes your limitations. 
When mental or physical force is 
squandered, its true value is lost. 
Exaggeration or strain never carries 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 89 

intrinsic weight ; the result is un- 
balanced, and burdened with undue 
force. Stand facing the light, and 
everything melts away, except that 
which is a part of its Creator. If 
you work for God, God will work 
with you. If you work for the 
world, you must contend with the 
world's experience. " 

After hearing of a friend's great 
sorrow, I asked, " How will it be 
with her ? " and the answer was : 
" It is the coming of the dawn in 
her life. These sad experiences, 
seemingly so dark and overwhelm- 
ing, are really waves of revelation, 



90 GOD'S LIGHT 



so rich with creative power and 
love-energy that for the time they 
stun and almost overwhelm the 
sufferer." 

I soon found that the inner light 
was not for me alone, but that it 
solved problems in other lives as 
well as mine ; and so by its aid 
much advice has been given, and 
many letters written, a few of 
which I am allowed to insert here. 

A friend came to me one day in 
much perplexity of purpose, owing 
to the conflict between the spiritual 
and material tendencies. The real 
love and strength were in the for- 
mer; but worldly ambition and 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 91 

interest were hard to yield, and the 
question of right and wrong, under 
existing circumstances, was solemn. 
In response I gave my sympathy, 
only waiting for a quiet time to re- 
ceive the help which J knew would 
come, and later, the following was 
given : — 

" You have become interested in 
the development of spiritual knowl- 
edge, and you are living in material 
surroundings, where worldly ambi- 
tion fills the atmosphere, and be- 
tween the two there is conflict and 
unrest. Now, how is it to be set- 
tled ? On the one side, develop- 
ment of power, grand and elevated ; 



92 GOD'S LIGHT 

on the other, strict allegiance to 
the world, and all which that en- 
tails : one eternal, the other tran- 
sitory. You are surrounded by 
others, who are fulfilling their des- 
tinies as best they know how ; but 
you have had the opportunity for 
spiritual development, and why 
should you leave your sphere for 
theirs ? Why stoop from a higher 
to a lower plane, when you recog- 
nize the higher ? In the one direc- 
tion your whole nature expands, in 
the other all is effort ; and to what 
does it lead ? Not to your highest 
and best, which is always free and 
spontaneous, but to a forced, un- 



AS IT CAME TO MR. 93 

natural condition that is sure to fall 
short of the ideal. Now, the ques- 
tion is, Can you live in the world, 
carrying out your individual prin- 
ciples without friction and agita- 
tion? Can you continue to work, 
widening your horizon as you grow 
and develop, holding to your ideals, 
trusting in the Infinite love and 
wisdom, living in absolute confi- 
dence that you are walking in God's 
ways, that man's ways are not God's 
ways, and knowing that according 
to the earnest intensity of your 
desire, will be the loving response ? 
" Sometimes you can force your- 
self to do a thing which is against 



94 GOD'S LIGHT 

your inclination, and do it fairly 
well; it will bear some carrying 
power ; but the result is absolutely 
limited, from the very lack of in- 
herent nature behind the effort; 
the unnatural push is soon ex- 
pended, the struggle begins again, 
and much energy is wasted. Assert 
your own individuality, your own 
character ; carry out its motive and 
theme. Do not try to make an- 
other individual of yourself; only 
trust, have confidence, and the 
quiet, sturdy strength which comes 
from understanding and conviction 
will be yours. Eemember that law 
is universal, and the more you place 






AS IT CAME TO ME. 95 

yourself in harmony with it, the 
freer and greater will be your 
powers. Life is full of problems to 
those who do not understand the 
principles. You are often weighed 
down by the problems, but never 
by the principles. You must follow 
the bent of your nature, and do 
your work, thus fulfilling your mis- 
sion. Be happy, peaceful, and 
satisfied just as you stand, having 
sufficient steadiness and indepen- 
dence to hold your own against the 
eddies and rapids about you. Apply 
practically that which you perceive 
spiritually. When quiet, sustained 
peace exists, it is always attended 



96 GOD'S LIGHT 

by force. Accept your position or 
condition as it is, and make the 
very best of it till it passes. Real- 
ize it as a phase or expression ne- 
cessary to yon, and so gladly accept 
it. Work iviih it, knowing that In- 
finite Wisdom is guiding you ; and 
so cease all anxious thought, and 
restr 

Dear : I have held your per- 
plexities up for God's light to shine 
through, and I write you what came to 
me through my spiritual understand- 
ing:— 

" She is very brave and loyal, and at 
times suffers much ; but she must not 
forget that great peace is beyond. Tell 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 97 

her to relax, and accept almost uncon- 
sciously the daily routine, holding in 
her trustful heart the Love ineffable 
which is expressed through every trial 
and condition. If hard experience is 
repeated, then let her recognize the need 
to learn the lesson, and so it will pass. 
When she becomes conscious of the 
cause of her failures, and also calm and 
quiet in her understanding of them, she 
can act with full-rounded power. If cir- 
cumstances seem hard and severe, tell 
her to respond lovingly ; not with re- 
signation, but with spiritual energy and 
life, yielding in every fibre of her being, 
because of the tenderness and beauty 
of the inspiration. For when her great 
love-nature is glorified in its freedom 
and purity, it will permeate and fulfil all 



GOD'S LIGHT 



conditions. Her present life is her ne- 
cessity, and through it she will expand 
and awaken. God is leading her into 
the light." 

My dear : In the early morning, 

when all except myself were asleep, I 
called you to me ; hy which I mean that 
mentally I called your name, and saw 
your face. I gave my whole attention 
to you, exactly as I would if you had 
been present in the body, folding my 
arms about you, and listening at the 
inner altar. After a moment I heard 
the following: — 

" Poor child ! I call her that, but not 
in pity, though from her standpoint she 
may think so. She is learning to stand 
as well as to walk ; but the first is the 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 99 

greater necessity. Many who are less 
sensitive stand more easily ; but it is 
hard for those who are delicately organ- 
ized to hold their own. She must keep 
herself in the knowledge of her God- 
hood, dropping sense of time, realizing 
that the knowing is the whole. She 
must expand through every atom and 
molecule of her being toward God only, 
and so stand grand and free, fearless 
and dauntless, until the inharmonious 
conditions about her soften and har- 
monize. In stillness let her know the 
truth ; never trust emotion or excite- 
ment, whether caused by happiness or 
the reverse. Tell her to be still, and 
then act, — holding firmly and freely 
to the Higher Wisdom, for there is 
knowledge and power. Her condition 



100 GOD'S LIGHT 

must be calm and quiet, — the quiet 
that comes from the depth of waters. 
Agitation and unrest are always near 
the surface. In the all but impenetra- 
ble glens quiet and order reign." 

Many are born with unusual 
powers, sensitive not only to high 
inspiration, but to all environment, 
and until the natural man seeks 
and realizes the meaning of his com- 
plicated organism, and the great 
forces by which it is swayed, he is 
blown hither and thither, bent and 
torn, not onhy by passing storms, 
but even in the lulls of sunlight and 
warmth by lawless intensity of self- 
consciousness and waste. We each 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 101 

include in ourselves qualities both 
latent and expressed, which indi- 
vidualize us ; and no matter how 
crudely they may be developed, 
they are, in their purity, of the 
essence of God. In order to realize 
this truth, and one's own grandeur 
of being, seek to know God, the 
Principle of the whole, — that per- 
fect and all-fulfilling Love, which 
is invariable and eternal. When 
we learn of Him, we recognize that 
our wild and reckless suffering 
comes through the misunderstand- 
ing of this wonderful human in- 
strument of ours, with all its mech- 
anism awry, its marvellous tones 



102 GOD'S LIGHT 

discordant and jangling, its keys, 
which were intended for heavenly 
expression, dull and lifeless; and 
that the disturbance will continue 
until we understand the cause of 
the inharmonious conditions, and 
realize also our innate capacity to 
control them. This work can be 
partially accomplished through the 
intellect, though that path is cold, 
severe, and starved ; but when the 
face is turned toward God, and eyes 
lifted to " the everlasting hills," we 
relax, and rest in the perfect knowl- 
edge of His love. Then, through 
all difficulties we stand firm and 
dauntless; at times bent and torn, 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 103 

— yes, but only to rebound with 
added vigor and pliability, enlarged 
resources and clearer illumination. 
When we learn through our deep 
experience, it is blessed, and we 
" shall enter into peace." We are 
no longer storm-tossed, but partake 
of that spirit which in its purity 
thinks, feels, and sees only its own 
essence. And what does this mean ? 
It means that divine repose which 
is the outgrowth of clear and sim- 
ple knowledge of our own God- 
nature. The experiences of life, 
which bear us often into seeming 
whirlpools of despair and failure, 
teach us by degrees the benediction 



104 GOD'S LIGHT 



enfolded in the heart of all, and we 
finally outgrow our sensitive sub- 
consciousness, and reach the calm 
z^consciousness of Nature. Awak- 
ened, concentrated force is always 
absolute calm. 

The following experiences oc- 
curred at intervals during all the 
past narrative, and not consecu- 
tively, as I have placed them here. 
They came not only when I was 
just awaking from sleep, but also 
in my hours of spiritual contempla- 
tion, and were perceived with my 
inner or spiritual sight, — subjec- 
tively, never objectively. At first 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 105 

they simply held my interest and 
attention ; but gradually the under- 
lying lesson in every one of them 
became a factor in my spiritual 
growth. All through these years 
I could use my eyes but little, and 
was confined to my bed or couch 
much of the time by persistent 
bodily suffering. In the hours of 
enforced quiet, although I felt an 
ever-present energy within me, I 
was never able practically to call 
it forth. I was, however, steadily 
conscious of a large power of en- 
durance, that would serve me to 
great lengths if I called upon it; 
and in my hunger and need I 



106 GOD'S LIGHT 

turned, and drew from that which 
was within my grasp, — my spirit- 
ual nature, that from which the 
necessities of the active world-life 
often tend to separate us. When- 
ever the hunger is from the soul, it 
shall be satisfied. Our success in 
any direction is dependent upon 
the force and conviction with which 
we work, whether in the life of the 
world or apart from it ; and through 
my deep longing for spiritual de- 
velopment the following experi- 
ences took their place and value as 
lovely accessories, bringing with 
them light and comfort. 

In answer to the reader's ques- 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 107 

tion, which I seem to hear, " How 
do you explain them; by what 
means are they given ? " I can only 
reply that the moment we recog- 
nize spirit, touch it, as it were, we 
feel knowledge, we attain without 
effort, and receive according to our 
development that which is adapted 
to our plane of understanding. As 
we progress, and our nature be- 
comes more and more refined and 
elevated, the spiritual food answers 
to our needs, and what at one time 
filled us with wonder and satisfac- 
tion is almost forgotten in new and 
ever-broadening experience. What- 
ever has come to me in the way of 



108 GOD'S LIGHT 

spiritual light was as a flash : I saw, 
I understood, and it was gone. 

One morning when absorbed in 
holy communion, the overwhelming 
sense of God's love swept over me, 
and with it the perception of a vast 
pressure of Deity surrounding and 
enfolding me. Its tenderness was 
so boundless that I almost recoiled ; 
realizing it would immerse, nay, 
even annihilate me were it not of 
God, whose infinite wisdom shines 
forth like the stars in the firmament, 
and who withholds His glory until 
His child is made ready to receive 
it. The merciful adjustment in all 
Nature amazed me, and the benedic- 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 109 

tion of that growth, however diffi- 
cult, which was preparing me to bear 
the light, and shielding its rays 
until I could endure their intensity. 
In the Fall of the year, when sit- 
ting on a hill that I love, by quietly 
watching I can see in the afternoon 
sunlight, between myself and the 
rich green foliage of the opposite 
hill, great streamers of cobweb sail- 
ing through the atmosphere, and 
passing over the lake below, only 
showing their mysterious delicacy 
when illuminated by the sun ; and 
this seems to me a good illustration 
of that which I see and know spirit- 
ually. They float into my atmos- 



110 GOD'S LIGHT 



phere, and as they are illuminated 
by my spiritual understanding are 
recognized by me. 

When in much suffering, I en- 
deavored to lift my thoughts into 
a purer atmosphere, and I saw 
a landscape swept by a furious 
wind-storm, with forked lightning 
flashing in the horizon, trees bent 
to the ground, and in the heavens 
above, clouds dark and wild, with 
rifts of yellow light here and 
there. T seemed to stand in the 
midst of all this wild tumult and 
solemn grandeur, looking at the 
great passion of the elements as 
at a thing apart from myself. I 



AS IT CAME TO ME. Ill 

only felt God and His holy love and 
protection everywhere, even in 
the great forces before me ; and I 
was filled with a deep calm and 
rest, and the lesson strengthened 
and steadied me, and made me 
quiet. 

After feeling irritable one day, 
I went to my room for a quiet 
hour; and thinking of love in its 
purity, I saw a flame rising from 
a pedestal, and beyond it a land- 
scape covered with snow. The 
flame too seemed frozen, and I 
realized that the fire was typical of 
the Holy Spirit, which my dis- 
turbed condition had chilled; also 



112 GOD'S LIGHT 

that it would melt and soften when 
I had earned the blessing. 

Another day I saw a stretch of 
country at early dawn, with the 
sun's rays resting upon it. In the 
foreground was a still, quiet pool, 
reflecting- from its surface all the 
radiant light above ; and I felt that 
I must be as calm as this lovely 
sheet of water, illuminated with 
God's purity and glory. In the quiet 
of His holy temple, within my own 
being, should I meet my God, and 
through deep feeling become con- 
scious of Him. 

Again, I saw great black rocks 
rising out of a perfectly quiet ocean. 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 113 

They were dark, formidable, but 
stilly typical of reserved power and 
strength ; and I realized that these 
rocks in their mighty calm held a 
concentrated force ready, when the 
tempest beat upon their breasts, to 
withstand the swash and fury of the 
waters until all should be at rest 
once more. 

I saw the sun slowly rising above 
the horizon, sending forth his rays 
in the still calm of the early morn- 
ing, lifting into light and glory 
mountain-peak and valley. All Na- 
ture became joyous, warm, and 
beautiful, sending forth from her 
bosom the very essence of her 

8 



114 GOD'S LIGHT 



treasures ; and there came to me a 
feeling of silence, of stillness and 
strength, and that so I should feel 
the power of the inner light, and 
rise to the heavenly glory within. 

Once a vision of grand and 
beautiful scenery was before me. 
Stately mountains, God's cathe- 
drals of the ages, pointing heaven- 
ward their snow-clad pinnacles, 
and beneath, peaceful valleys, soft 
and lovely, radiating tenderness and 
sweetness. Far aloft, I saw a spirit- 
ual presence majestically moving 
through the pure, rarified ether. 
Its form was filmy and celestial, 
yet clearly defined ; and I realized 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 115 

that within this being was all that 
made the individual, — the same 
Almighty Essence breathed through 
mountain, valley, and child, — and 
that in the knowledge of that uni- 
versal companionship we bore no 
burdens, we carried no cross, for 
we lived and moved in God. 






116 GOD'S LIGHT 



IV. 

I saw a gorge of vast depth, be- 
tween precipitous walls of rock, 
sparsely covered with firs, and at 
its base, a mountain river, rushing 
with a force accumulated from a 
fall of great height, and sending a 
volume of spray far above, which 
bathed the mountain sides with 
moisture-laden atmosphere. The 
scene was illuminated by what ap- 
peared to me sunlight, but which 
proved to be the reflection from an 
intense white light above, to which 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 117 

I could barely raise my eyes, even 
sheltered as I was within the gorge. 
As I gazed upon this joyous scene, 
its symbolic meaning floated in upon 
me, and I realized the immensity 
of light and glory which I should 
in time rise to and penetrate, as I 
grew spiritually. I seemed a part 
of, and at one with, this universal 
nature, the value of each being the 
necessity of the whole. 

Again I seemed to be looking at, 
and listening to, Nature in all her 
summer loveliness, — fields, flowers, 
song-birds, the hum of insects, and 
a clear sheet of water reflecting the 
blue sky above, all bathed in sun- 



118 GOD'S LIGHT 

light. Amid all this sweetness and 
beauty I saw a spiritual presence, 
shining with a wonderful self-lu- 
minous white light, unconsciously 
giving forth his whole being in 
song, joining in the vast orchestra 
of harmony everywhere rising and 
rolling forth. 

At times these spiritual experi- 
ences seemed to pass away from 
me, and I could hardly realize that 
such a blessing had ever been mine. 
In those days life was strangely dull 
and silent, unfruitful and lifeless; 
and I had to arouse that which was 
best in me (if indeed I could touch 
it) to keep up my courage and 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 119 

faith. During one of these periods 
of prolonged quiet, so full of prom- 
ise if we did but know it, this 
understanding came to me, in re- 
sponse to an appeal for help: "Take 
all as it comes ! Rest in the Infi- 
nite Presence ! In the process of 
vegetation, there is a period of dark- 
ness and silence, after which, by 
degrees, comes the effort upward, 
when the earth is disturbed and 
separated by the bursting of the 
seed and shooting up of the plant 
to the light and freedom of ma- 
turity, — each evolutionary stage 
equally vital and necessary. " 

In connection with these thoughts 



120 



GOD'S LIGHT 



came the following vision, which 
seemed to enforce the lesson. I 
saw a sheet of perfectly calm water, 
with pure, white lilies resting on 
its surface, their long stems draw- 
ing nourishment from the rich earth 
beneath, where from silence and 
darkness they had come forth to 
work their way heavenward. With 
the sway of the water, they seemed 
to vibrate and breathe, until reach- 
ing the light, when their sweet 
natures bloomed forth in purity and 
fragrance, and they floated and 
rested in the eternal peace, uncon- 
sciously expressing tenderness and 
beauty in sunlight and shadow. 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 121 

When in deep contemplation, I 
saw soft, gentle meadow-land and 
rolling country. A lovely summer 
shower was falling. The sunlight 
illuminated the misty atmosphere, 
bathing all Nature in radiance and 
light, drawing from the soul of 
even the tiniest of God's creations, 
the essence of its sweet purity 
and perfume. This helped me to 
understand the perfect unity in 
Nature, the mutual giving and re- 
ceiving in these natural forces, and 
that we give spiritually as we 
receive, even unfolding in holiness 
and love. 

Again, I had a clear perception 



122 GOD'S LIGHT 



of woods in the early dawn, and a 
rush of waters over a sharp cliff 
into a deep ravine filled with foam 
and spray. Above the scene was 
a spiritual being, distinct in form, 
yet seeming almost a part of the 
atmosphere, and reminding me of 
the haze which often rests over the 
blue dells in the distance. This 
presence seemed a part of the uni- 
versal ether and woodland, of all 
the freshness, beauty, and life about 
me, and was very gently ascend- 
ing into the light above, its color 
changing into shining white as it 
rose. 

Again, I saw a woman's form in 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 123 

a higher atmosphere, amid the 
peaks of creation. The light of the 
dawn rested upon her. White glis- 
tening clouds were beneath her, and 
upon her breast a luminous star. 
An unbroken circle surrounded and 
held her in its enclosure. Beyond 
this were many pillars, upon which 
were inscriptions, — guides to vari- 
ous paths. These I noticed she 
studied and watched with anxious 
foreboding. As I contemplated this 
vision, this symbol holding its 
lesson of help and strength, I re- 
membered the promise, " To him 
that overcometh, I will give the 
morning star." I saw in this form 



124 GOD'S LIGHT 



of anxious expression one that car- 
ried upon her own shoulders the 
full weight of responsibility in the 
choice of her path in life, not rec- 
ognizing that God's spiritual light 
was touching and resting upon 
her; and that in this light, when 
she was ready, the glory of the 
Father would guide her through 
all limitations into His holy ave- 
nue, in which His messengers 
would minister unto her, and give 
her rest. " For ye shall go out 
with joy, and be led forth with 
peace." 

One morning at early dawn, when 
I was lying quietly wakeful, I found 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 125 

myself repeating the Lord's Prayer, 
with (to me) a new understanding. 
The application of the whole being 
within God's holy temple, the indi- 
vidual being. " Our Father who 
art in the heaven within, hallowed 
be thy name ; Thy kingdom come, 
or reign supreme (and so Thy will 
be done), in our lower as well as 
as our higher nature. Help us to 
recognize our spiritual daily food. 
Forgive us our trespasses, as we 
forgive the sins and shortcomings of 
our mortal nature. Help us to rec- 
ognize the temptations of this same 
bodily state, and so may we deliver 
ourselves ; for Thine is the kingdom, 



126 GOD'S LIGHT 



and the power, and the glory, for- 
ever and ever. Amen" 

And now that I have come to the 
conclusion of my little narrative, I 
wish to say a few words in regard 
to God's principle of love, which is 
the foundation of His universe, — 
that which creates, vitalizes, and en- 
dures to all eternity, and gradually 
dissipates all that is unlovely and 
transitory, unreal and non-abiding. 
No matter how suffering or despair- 
ing our strained condition and cir- 
cumstance may be, they eternally 
fulfil God's law of infinite growth ; 
and in love all conscious effort shall 



AS IT CAME TO ME. 127 

cease, for we work not for the 
result, but for the motive ; and we 
ourselves become that Divine prin- 
ciple, leaving far, far behind the 
ocean of turbulence and unrest 
which it was our necessity to cross 
and struggle with. 

I find myself again in the woods, 
writing the final words in this little 
history, begun under such different 
conditions three years ago, when 
I was so ill and suffering. All 
Nature is preparing to burst forth 
into the full glory of earthly per- 
fection ; the air is laden with sweet- 
ness, and the birds, — oh, how they 



128 GOD'S LIGHT. 

love, in song ! Every note touches 
and uplifts all who listen ; their 
little throats are bursting with 
unconscious effort, which is borne 
through the atmosphere, carrying 
peace, beauty, and heaven's bene- 
diction. 



THE END. 



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